Green Eyed Monster

I’m struggling with a lot of jealousy today.

 

My friend & I are in similar situations, starting new businesses. We both know our areas well & that things will work out, but neither of us are making money right now because our businesses are just too new.

 

“Hang on,” I hear you say, “If you’re both in the same situation, how can you be jealous?”

 

Because we have one difference. I have to work while I start up. She doesn’t have to.

 

I have a house to pay rent on, bills so I can light & heat the house, a dog who has seizures & vet bills, a husband who has been off work for a year because of a misdiagnosed illness, who no one wants to hire because he won’t lie for a job and people are scared off when they hear why he’s been off work. I have no family I can move in with to make life easier.

 

My friend has been out & about in the past few years, but moved to her home town recently. Her parents will not let her & her husband move out & waste money on rent when they can live at home for free.

 

It’s hard watching her get to work on her business all day long. Especially while I get up early, drag my butt a long way to work for a job I really don’t like, then try and find the energy in the evening to work a little on my business.

 

I don’t like this feeling of resentment, or jealousy, or anything else. This is a close friend, who has known me for about 12 years. It’s not like this is going to ruin a friendship. But it makes me day feel harder. I guess I’m just wishing for an easy way out right now. I know it doesn’t work that way, and I know in the long run I’ll be much happier having done everything for myself. It’s just for the time being, I want something to feel a little easier.

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