I Need My Own Bubble

I Need My Own Bubble

After reading Packing Light and blogging about it, I was scoping the author’s website and reading this post. What struck me was completely off the topic of most of what that blog post was even about; rather it was in the ways I’ve found myself creating.


I don’t know why, but I have a block on myself about creating at home. I don’t want to record videos, talk blogging, or talk to myself (to get it transcribed into a book or blog posts later) at home. I don’t feel comfortable doing so.


I Need My Own Bubble


I spent a while at the beach once, talking to myself (recording), getting a lot of what is* the rough draft of a book out. It needed to come out. It’s similar to Packing Light and some other books I’ve read in the past year, but at the same time, oh-so different in how I view it, how I feel about it and the gaps I feel that it plugs in my own interpretation of the world.


I Need My Own Bubble


What Is A Bubble?

I need creative space. I don’t feel like I have that. This is an awkward outcome of my life situation; that I don’t ever, ever get time at home alone. I need that. Even if we’re both at home, I know someone else is in the house, even if we’re happily in different rooms, working on different things. I need there to be no one around to create. I need a bubble. I need a soundproof bubble. I don’t want a room next to each other, or next to a lounge, or kitchen. I need a bubble.


Why Am I Uncomfortable?

What am I not owning here? If I can be honest, I’m disturbed by myself that I’m not comfortable doing these things unless I’m 100% at home. It’s not like my husband isn’t creative (his talents lie in music), so it’s not even like I have a partner who doesn’t understand.


I think it’s a bit similar to me not liking open plan offices because everyone can hear your work phone calls. I just don’t feel comfortable working that way. I was intensely (negatively, obviously) influenced when I was quite young by what I can see as an adult to be someone who has/had undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I cannot work with people looking over my shoulder. It stems from a deep lack of trust, even when I know there is no judgement or harassment. I came across NPD by accident one day many years ago, while I was trawling the internet, and it clicked. All the symptoms and signs of NPD fitted the person who influenced me 100%. All the resultant small things I have, like being unable to deal with people looking over my shoulder.


How Do I Deal? (Should I Deal?)

Is there anything inherently wrong with needing a bubble to create? I don’t think so. And I’ve never spoken to a professional about this, because while I don’t like things like working in open plan offices, I’ve also done it a lot and well. Most offices are like that, and I am very used to it. It doesn’t cause me trauma, it’s just not my preference.


*It was hard to write “what is the rough draft of a book”. That is what I first wrote, and nearly backspaced it and wrote “What will be the first draft of a book”. I’m not judging myself that right now, I can’t pay to get it transcribed. The ideas still exist and have been expressed, therefore IT IS the first draft of a book.


Do you have a bubble? Show me what it looks like on social media with the hashtag #NNMyBubble 


7 Replies to “I Need My Own Bubble”

  1. I write my best stuff on the train surrounded by strangers! No one talks to one another so I guess it’s a bit of a quiet bubble! LOL. We’re all different. I can’t write if I have anyone looking over my shoulder, even a child who can’t read! #teamIBOT

  2. I know I get very self conscious. Especially with using my ‘blogger persona’ (which is just me but talking to an audience and not just my friends). I don’t like my husband (who is supportive) reading something over my shoulder while I’m still creating and if I’m doing something video-based, I get really really embarrassed! I am fortunate that my son goes to school now so I do get some alone time to create. I am in the process of creating my own ‘lady cave’ in our house. It will be a pretty sacred space and I think it will help me immensely.
    I wish I wasn’t so easily embarrassed because I’d be so much better at using social media on the go, talking to camera and showing off much more of my life!

  3. I know what you mean. I need a bubble too, I need complete silence and to be buy myself so I can tune myself in creatively. I hope you can find that bubble soon.

  4. I think I’ve just learnt to adapt, because in a house of six people a bubble won’t happen and I need to write. Some days, if I’m struggling to concentrate, the noise annoys me, but most days I can sit on the couch in the midst of the chaos and go for my life.
    It is easier on my own though, and I can’t study with lots of people around – not all that well anyway.
    Congrats on that first draft. That’s exciting stuff. 🙂

  5. My bubble is my houseful of six noisy kids who constantly interrupt me as I write at my kitchen table.
    It’s just the way it has to be for me.

  6. I am so glad it’s not just me! I find it really difficult to let go in a house filled with noise. Headphones cut it down a bit, but it’s hard to really get into the zone. Totally get where you’re coming from, I’d love a bubble too.

  7. I think you are certainly right about needing a bubble to do your best work. I definitely can not work at any time or place. I achieve nothing. Good on you, it is the first draft of your book. It will be yours!

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