As usual, I’m jumping in with I Must Confess for a Monday writing prompt, via My Home Truths.
This prompt is an interesting one, because I don’t really believe in regrets. Regrets are just lessons that haven’t sunk in yet. Mostly. There are always exceptions to the rules.
One Thing I Wish I Did Differently
I went to two different high schools. The first one was a private school and I left it to go to a state school for senior, as they offered twice as many subjects (and religion wasn’t a compulsory subject). A short time after I left the first high school, I was at a birthday party of friends from that first high school. I have a feeling it was in the summer between starting in the new school.
At this party, my best friend of the past three years was there. I can’t remember if we had seen each other much over the summer, but I’m guessing not. Towards the end, the hosting parents were calling for kids as parents. When it was my turn to leave, I passed my old best friend on the way out.
We hadn’t really spoken much at the party, but it was a party, not an old best friends catch up. On my way out, I was saying goodbye and said something like “we should really catch up and go to the movies soon”.
Her reply was a bit of scorn. She started saying something like “you sound like a boy asking me out” … I can’t remember if I bothered to stay for the end of the sentence. I walked out, and I think that was the last time I had spoken to her.
You see, it wasn’t very socially acceptable for me to have left a private school for a “lowly” state school (even though the state school I went to was excellent). Especially not for this person’s family.
I don’t so much regret walking out as much as I wish I hadn’t had to. But it was indeed a lesson in that other people hold things like postcodes, income and perceived prestige a lot higher than I did (and do).
Have you ever lost a friend in a strange way?
11 Replies to “One Thing I Wish I Did Differently”
Sorry to hear you lost a friend over something like this. Friendships sometimes drift apart when you don’t see each other very often, but the good ones just get stronger 🙂
That’s so true. The friends who were great friends of mine from that school still are – and funnily enough, many of us left at the same time for other schools 🙂
Yes, I’ve lost friends in strange ways but it would be an epic to write to about here. She doesn’t sound like much of a friend, really. You’re probably better off without her.
You probably should have replied to her: Nah, if I was that way inclined you wouldn’t be my type anyway.
Unrelated: my husband just saw the title of your blog and thought I’d started a new blog. I said no, it’s a different Vanessa. His reply was he doesn’t think there’s such a thing as a ‘normal Ness’ LOL.
In hindsight, I don’t think she was a good friend. Not in a nasty way or anything at all like that, just that we really did have totally different interests.
Haha we’re all normal to ourselves!! Good to hear we all have reps 🙂
Regrets are just lessons that haven’t sunk in yet. LOVE this.
You’ve reminded me of the time I deleted and blocked a friend on Facebook, and I stopped returning her calls. I wish I’d had the guts to tell her why I was upset and avoiding her instead of just hiding. She left nasty judgmental comments on a couple of my other firends’ FB statuses – people she didn’t even know, and who could have been very mentally and emotional fragile. I should have said something but I took the chicken’s way out. Sooner or later I’ll probably bump into her and goodness knows how I’ll handle it then …
Sometimes I don’t think you need to explain. It just gives them an excuse to be rude or to invalidate you further. It feels mean not to, but in the long run it’s kind of better.
I did lose one friendship around the time I was 18. I don’t regret losing the friendship (it was probably time for both of us), but I do regret not being more mature in some ways and I am betting the other person does too sometimes (because they were not a bad person either).
I’ve let go of some friends and have drifted away from others but I don’t think I have ever lost one in a strange way. Sounds as if you haven’t missed out on much from that friendship…
God teenage girls are the worst. I’ve deliberately let a lot of friendships go. Probably the hardest was my best friend. She went a bit sanctimummy on me after my son was born. Constantly telling me what I was doing wrong and how she was doing it better. I realised it came from insecurity but I just didn’t have time for that negativity. It makes me sad sometimes.