I can’t say I’ve written much, or anything “good” in 2020. I did try to read some more though. I always thought that once I finished postgrad, my desire to read would return. And maybe it would have if I hadn’t had fatigue related medical issues then and since? Either way, I wasn’t reading much and I wanted to fix that.
Thankfully I finally “bit the bullet” and bought myself a cheap tablet (one that wasn’t 9 years old and barely working like my ancient iPad). I found out that while I can’t read books on my phone, reading them on a 8” tablet isn’t so bad. And so, in 2020, I finally became the person who not only sold eBooks, but actually read them too.
The awkward part is when I started reading a big series (and I’m not naming it, because this is about me, not them, and taste in books is subjective), and didn’t really get into it. But I loved the concept. I did end up reading the series (though I’ll have to admit, I skipped one prequel and skimmed the other), purely because of the concept. But a brilliant concept wasn’t really enough for me. The pacing wasn’t my style. I stuck with the series though, because I was curious how it all played out. And this is where the awkward part started. I started feeling like I had written things like this. And as I wasn’t really enjoying the series, what did it say about my own writing? Yes, this was a commercially successful series, by far! You’d think I would have felt pleased to recognise my own writing in it. But it wasn’t where I mentally saw my writing, so it felt awkward.
Does it mean the book is crap? Nope. There’s rarely such a thing as a crap book, just a book that doesn’t match your preferences. Does it mean my writing is crap? Well, kinda. I’m not exactly writing myself off for life or saying I’m brilliant, but insofar as I mostly have drafts and despise editing, yeah, some it is crap right now, for sure! I think it’s a polishable turd though. There is a lot to polish though.
Psst, I’m looking at putting together some short courses this year on getting a book written. Make sure you sign up to my newsletter if you want to hear about them. I’m thinking one specifically for small biz owners, and one along the lines of “get your first draft done”. Probably $50.
PS I’m sorry my formatting is annoying recently. I don’t know what has happened to a bunch of my blog posts – they don’t accept or remember breaks, no matter what I do. I know it happens from time to time in wordpress but I haven’t been able to fix it recently and I’ve mostly given up in frustration. Or some views it looks fine and others it doesn’t *shrugs*
I can get recognising your writing in something you are reading and not necessarily enjoying. Even worse, I’ve been fixing up errors in the older blog posts on my blog and reading my old stuff is THE WORST.
Weirdly, old blog posts being crap don’t bother me at all. I’m happy for people to see how I’ve changed over time.
I often read articles in New York Times or the Paris Review of something and am gobsmacked at how amazing the writing is. I’ve done creative non-fiction and feature writing subjects at Uni as part of my Masters and sometimes I read something written by someone and wonder why I bother as I feel I could never write that well.
I’m the same with book reviews sometimes. I read others’ and feel like mine are simplistic and amateur-like.
Of course I often read things in Tiny Buddha or Elephant Journal etc and feel as if it’s something I could have written because it’s exactly what I want to say. (Or have said on the blog.)
I can really relate to the stuff about blogging – someone has said the same thing and gets heaped on praise and it’s like “yeah I get it and they’re good and nice but also I have a said that til I’m blue in the face”. It doesn’t really frustrate me anymore but it is some level of annoying.
I often read things that I wish I’d written and then realise that I’m absolutely not worthy of the thought even. Gotta love imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is so easy to flare up.
Can’t say I’ve written much of greatness in recent times either but I have tried to read more. I’ve had concentration issues since the onset of the ‘pause’. I still can’t read at the rate I used to but I’m slowly getting through some books!
I go through phases with books – pretty much either on or off, nothing in-between.
I think we are our own worst critics. So be a bit kinder…and you have had more than a year of crappiness I reckon….being unwell and fatigued, gosh I can’t imagine how you can do all you do.
I know my writing is just as I speak. It’s the luxury of being a blogger, my blog, my words etc. I know I write too much. Wordy as they say.
This past week I have had to attempt 3 different styles of writing for 3 different purposes: one to a CEO of a business, one to a Senator and one as a contribution to a book.
I had to think long and hard about how to and the content. Fortunately I have a kind person at the end of each task and they are looking at the drafts. I also respect their opinions.
Thanks so much for linking up for Life This Week. Next week, we are #11 and the optional prompt is Floral. Hope to see you there and in the meantime, may you be well, may you be safe and may you be content. Denyse.
I kind of just had to do nano… I wanted something good for me!