June Creative Contemplations

I’ve not been creating at all in June. Most of my energy was taken up with day job, a minor surgery and managing the post-surgery stuff (wound dressings, not aggravating the wound by existing, post op appointments). And then a bad case of bronchitis where I am amazed I didn’t crack a rib or something. Then winding out the month in a snap covid lockdown…

I know I often put pressure on myself to do more, create more, why don’t I sell more? And I thought I would feel better for not creating. I don’t feel as much pressure to create and sell the way I once would have felt it, but at the same time, accidentally (aka life forcing me out of creativity for a short time) hasn’t made me feel better at all. It feels worse to not create. I don’t know if other creators with chronic illnesses/health issues feel the same way, or how they manage it. But it’s something I’m trying to … for lack of a better word … tune into. I have never not created. It has always been part of my life. I do need to work out what and how and when and sort my feelings out around that.

Without creating, that even is my identity? Maybe that’s the I’ve been the gap I’ve felt this month.