Discussions about community have been hard to read

A reasonable reaction to the rise of fascism has been to talk about community. I don’t disagree. On paper. The problem is, a lot of the discussions, like many leftist discussions, ignore disability. 

 

The general discussion goes:

 

We need community to survive this! 

(Yes, I agree.)

 

We need to care for each other more!

(Agreed.)

 

Everyone is selfish and community can’t have anyone be selfish, for any reason!

(Hmm. I have to be “selfish” to maintain my health.)

 

You have to give more than you get!

(But I can’t.)

 

Everyone who doesn’t give, can’t get.

(Way to exclude people who can’t give.)

 

You have to be uncomfortable to be in community.

(Being able to be uncomfortable is a privilege.) 

 

The discussions may have slightly different words or phrases, but the above has been the general pattern. And I’ve struggled with it. I can’t give. I can’t drive a neighbour to the airport. I can’t give this or that or… well, basically the entire lists of things that people say you have to do to be in community, I can’t do. I spend more energy than I have, than is safe, to take care of myself and manage my health. 

 

These discussions had bothered me for a long time, but the clarity on exactly what was bothering me came by a post on Threads.

 

A user (not someone I follow, just a post that the algo served to me) said:

The difference between networking and community: networking asks “What can this person do for me?”, community asks “What are we building together?”

 

My reply was:

Thank you for sharing this distinction; the more disabled I’ve become, the more uncomfortable I’ve become with discussions around community because it always seems to be “what can you give” and my ability to give is negligible many days.

 

I get what people are going for with the “give! give!” type of posts. They are trying to encourage people to give more. This isn’t bad, until it feels transactional. When it feels transactional, that’s when people who can’t give start to be excluded. I know they’re thinking of greedy capitalist types who only ever want to take. But you can’t design for that type. That type will never really be in community. Start thinking about more than just one type of person in your new community. 

 

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