Making the Choice to Value My Brain

I dropped out of a (coursework) Masters degree for the second time today.


In what seems pathetic to me, I have dropped out of the same degree twice now. I dropped out faster the second time around.


The parts I didn’t like the first time were still there & they’d changed some things I didn’t like too. These changes didn’t seem to benefit the student, only the university. They doubled the amount of subjects required to be awarded the degree (in my view, unnecessarily) and added a first year undergraduate subjects. To a postgraduate degree. Yeah. I really don’t feel like paying for that. Or wasting my time on it.


It’s not you, it’s me.


That’s kind of what I’ve said to myself. It’s not the fault of the degree really. It’s my fault for going for a convenient degree. In this case, external, commonwealth supported & entirely unstimulating.


I should have put my brain first and fought on ahead with my plans to do a research degree if I’m going to study again.


It’s not all a loss. I have made the choice to focus on income, not study.


The study wasn’t really teaching me anything I didn’t already know. It was barely giving me experience. I was only phoning it in. That’s not learning. I want to be challenged by my study.


In hindsight, I’ve known this was the wrong decision all along. Why did it take me this long to actually do something about it? The only reason I dropped out today is that today is census date. If I didn’t do it today I would get charged for my subjects. I only recently learned some things about myself & why it’s hard for me to make certain decisions, so I guess I just need practice now that I know why I struggle with certain things.


Do you have trouble making decisions? How do you change things when you know you’ve made a wrong decision?


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