2013, I don’t like you

I still haven’t posted much since the start of June. I have a million and one thoughts in my head and no patience to sit down and make each one a blog post.


I’m still frustrated at 2013. I wanted this year to be different. Yet, everything I’ve tried so far has failed. Does that mean I’m one step closer to finding something that works? I bloody hope so. And while I don’t believe in regrets, only learning, that doesn’t mean that failures don’t annoy you. I’m not a patient person. I wanted some change so badly,  and here we are, in the middle of July, and nothing has changed since the start of January.


Am I a visual learner who is tricking myself into thinking I’m a reading-writing learner? Is that why I’ve yet to find success?


Have I really tried? I feel like I have, but maybe I haven’t tried enough to succeed. Or maybe I’ve only tried the wrong things? How do you assess this about yourself? Are you too close to yourself to know this? Who truly understands your goals enough to asses this for you?


I pay $11 a week for membership to a gym I haven’t even been to this year. I quite like my gym, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t go. I am far too lazy to drive 2km down the road.


I wanted to blog about health here, but I’m struggling to live a healthy life.


I’m so sick of being told to be grateful for having a job. Yes, I’m grateful for not being on government benefits or on the street. But no, I’m not grateful for commuting 15 hours a week to a job that, while important, is not feeding my soul. Stop telling me that ‘getting by’ is enough. It may be for you. I doubt it though. I know it’s not enough for me. And it doesn’t have to be.


So, 2013, I don’t think I like you very much so far.


Actually, so far, you just make me want to cry. But maybe that’s ok. Maybe I needed to spend a frustrating, crappy 7 months with you before I find the good parts of you. Maybe you making me want to cry is just letting go of all the crappy, mind numbing & frustrating things that have happened this year.


How do you tell if your path is slow, but the right one, or just painfully wrong for you?

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