Sometimes, online or offline, you see what others are doing and it makes you want to be there, right now.
On the surface, it feels like jealousy.
I scratch through that surface pretty quickly, though. I know for me that it’s frustration. That it’s triggering something that I feel I can’t control in my life and that is hard for me to accept. Like I wrote about on Monday, in some aspects of my life I can deal with things very well.
However, in other areas I feel like I’m permanently lost. Or permanently behind in ways that others can’t understand. I’ve been trying to recapture that feeling I had last week, where I was really at peace with most areas of my life.
The strangest thing is, nothing has happened since I wrote that to change my life! In fact, if anything, I have more good things on the horizon.
It feels stupid to feel slightly in a funk, but then it feels stupid to deny emotions, because if that’s what you feel, then that’s what you feel, right?
To me, a lot of emotions boil down to frustration. I like to feel like a smart, empowered person. When people make decisions that impact on me and I can’t see logic behind them, that’s frustrating. The way I see it, jealousy is a surface emotion. It is shallow and short lasting. It covers up something else.
I don’t know if it’s always important to discover what the something else is. Certainly for big things, but for little things, it could be worth more time than is needed to work out what it is.
What emotions do you find are associated with jealousy? How do you process them?