Brain Vs Body vs Me



BRAIN: Muhahaha.


BODY: Whaa?


BRAIN: You are awake!


BODY: *grumbles*


BRAIN: Think about everything that is going on right now.


BODY: *look at clock* It’s four-fucking-fifteen in the morning, Brain, what are you on?!


BRAIN: Over think things! Over think things!


BODY: Noooo. Let meeee sleeeeeepp.


BRAIN: You know what we need? We need to do some maths. Go on, reach over to your phone and open the calculator…go on..


BODY: *complies*


BRAIN: Now, lets calulate doomsday scenarios


ME: Ok the both of you, I want to sleep so you both have to shut up now.


BRAIN: Maybe after one more calculation.


BODY: I agree, lets sleep.


ME: Thank you!


BRAIN: Ok, I am a bit sleepy.


ME: *thinks* Excellent, I can still catch an hour of sleep before my alarm.


BODY: Ner-ner. I’m awake now. AND I can do magic tricks!


ME: Shut up, body.


BODY: No, really. Look at this! All I have to do is wave my wand aaaaannnddd… NOSE CONGESTED! Haha, sucker. Try and breathe enough to sleep now!


ME: Shit.


Brain vs Body vs Me


BRAIN: Guys, I’m tired here. Be quiet.


ME: Oh, that’s good coming from you, brain.


BODY: Blow, blow, blow your nose, gently down the stream.


ME: Why isn’t there a box of tissues in the bedroom?


BODY: Wakey wakey, go find tissues.


BRAIN: Guys, really, I could sleep now.


ME: You started this, brain.


BODY: Snort.


ME: *scrambles around house in dark for tissues*


BODY: I know I made you get out of bed, but it’s co-old!


ME: *turns heating on, gives up on sleep or oxygen, cries to self and decides to blog her insanity*


I wish I was making this up. Send caffeine. Or hugs. Or a pillow. Or something for me to get through Tuesday. Oooh, send a limo to chauffeur me home from work this afternoon.


14 Replies to “Brain Vs Body vs Me”

  1. 5:22 am here and I haven’t actually slept. I’m officially giving up. Not entirely sure how I will get through the day. No doubt it will be coffee fueled.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Hope you made it through the day ok. I’m lucky I slept before this – I can’t cope on even a few hours less sleep.

  2. I vote we officially stop getting up altogether in Winter. I just can’t make a start in the dark mornings.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Ooh yes, that! Even though overall it’s not really cold in Brisbane – but my defense is that the houses aren’t built for cold.

  3. I used to talk about my body and brain disconnect but then I saw this show on TV about being cryogenically frozen (which I’d like to be, though my family laughs when I tell them!) and they said all you really need is the head, not the body. That was weird. I hate my body, but it’s my body… you know?


    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Yep! I get that. It would be weird to be all sci-fi and have a different body.

  4. There is nothing worse when your brain just won’t bloody stop….. Enough already. I recently started a new job and I find myself awake every night around 3am thinking…. Thinking… Thinking ….

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Yes, I think mine is partially new job too. It just sets your brain thinking and processing and can be hard to stop.

  5. 4.15am!! No! I hope this isn’t a regular occurrence. Hope your brain and body leave you alone tonight 🙂 #teamIBOT

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Thankfully it’s very rare. And I did sleep well last night so I feel a lot better.

  6. Oh it’s too cold for that kind of carry on! Although that would be annoying on an ordinary night.
    Hope you got through the day ok. xx

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I survived thanks to energy drinks and sugar.

  7. Oh I feel you! I’ve been suffering with this head/chest cold/cough congestion for nearly 2 weeks now! Sleep is now officially something that happened in a former life.
    Hope yours buggers off soon! x

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Whatever cold/flu is going around at the moment seems to be so severe!

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