This Year Of Me

This Year Of Me

My series of posts, “2015 the year of me” never gained much traction online. But that’s ok. Because regardless of what it has or hasn’t done online, it has shaped my 2015.


This Year Of Me


2015 has been hard at times. I’m in in shock that it’s nearly the end of October. Time stopped for me at the start of the year and sometimes I find it hard to believe that it has restarted at all. And yet it has, because it never stopped.


Having said that, this year has also been good. I have made a lot of decisions in tough situations and I was 100% at the centre of those decisions. The choices I’ve made this year have been unpopular to others, but that really isn’t my business. I haven’t endangered anyone, I’ve just made decisions that mean other peoples issues are not important to me.


This Year Of Me


A lot of people have tried to guilt me out of making those decisions for their own selfish reasons, and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of you telling me not to make a decision because it means slightly more work for you. It’s selfish to expect someone to move backwards so that you don’t have to think about things that you are doing wrong.


I have to look after me. And I have. I’m not 100% great at it yet. I’m trying to work on my physical health but this year has had so many knocks that physical health has, at times, taken a backseat to just getting through situations.


What am I trying to say? I feel like a success in some areas and a deep work in progress in others. Which I guess is always going to be the case with different elements in life.


Here’s the thing: people will say anything to get you to do what is best for them. It sounds like a harsh thing to say but don’t listen to them. Theirs is not an opinion that matters. You know how in mum-speak “disappointed” is “mad”? (At least in sitcoms!)


Fuck if some is disappointed in you because you put yourself above their plans.


Doing this is not selfish, it is smart. It is not mean, it is self-care.


I feel like this isn’t said enough.


10 Replies to “This Year Of Me”

  1. I’m proud of you for learning to stand up for yourself! One of my favourite sayings is the one where “lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”. Other people will try to push me around; this helps me remember my priorities.

    1. Yes, I love that saying! I actually said something like that in a job interview once when they asked about my abiltiy to work late if there’s a problem 🙂

  2. I can’t believe it’s the end of October either! Good on you for standing up for yourself. I think we’re always a work in progress. I thought I’d have everything figured out by now, but I’m heading into my 45th year and still learning things about myself and, hopefully, growing. I’d like to think that’s a good thing. Keep doing what you’re doing.

    1. I think being ok with being a work in progress is pretty important. We don’t have a tick box for finished with life…and if we did, that would be death, so yeah. Learning and being ourselves is important forever, basically!

  3. I think it’s so important to put yourself first. For so long I always worried about other people instead of myself and half the time they didn’t do the right by me anyway. It’s so much easier to rely on yourself.

    1. It really is. And it’s hard to write these types of posts without sounding too negative. Trusting yourself is what its most important though.

  4. Can you come over to my place and give me a lecture on this stuff? I always do what is right for everyone else, not necessarily what’s right for me. I need to put myself first and be happy, not guilty, for doing so. I hope things continue in the right direction for you Ness x

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Honestly, it’s just practice. Find a way to do it once. Then find a way to do it again.

  5. This has been a mantra for me this year too. To look after me, to make time for and do what makes me happy and not feel guilty for doing so. It’s been hard, but I feel much better for it. Slowly I am gaining ground in favour of me xx

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      It’s sometimes hard when the “shoulds” say to do something else entirely.

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