Hiatusing (Kind Of)

I made the tough decision today to take a break from my other blog, Bloggers and Bacon. I still love the blog and the name, but it had started feeling like a chore to write for it. I’m worried I won’t go back to it. I want to go back to it. But right now, I’m struggling with the focus, or energy, or …I don’t know what. Basically I feel like the blog posts are not even getting so much as a half-assed effort. I’m keeping all the products for sale, I’ll still refer people to the blog posts I’ve written that may help them, and I still have podcast ideas floating in my head for it. My lack of enthusiasm for blogging about blogging right now doesn’t mean I think I’ve done a crap job in the past. It just means I feel like it’s currently unsustainable.

 

I still love my #ArchiveLove link up, and want to keep running it. So I’m going to be hosting it here on NormalNess from now on. I still love seeing people’s old posts and finding some great gems.

 

Lately I’ve been feeling like my social media feeds aren’t showing me what I want. Now, that’s not social media’s fault, it’s that I need to review some types of accounts that I follow. I don’t believe in blaming others for what I see on social media, as I am the one with the power to follow, unfollow, like, friend, block, mute, unmute and everything else.

 

The other main reason that I’m putting Bloggers and Bacon on hiatus for now is that I want to work on a bigger project than a blog. I’ve got a massive chunk of a book written and I think that book needs to happen. I miss deep work. You can sign up here to be on the mailing list for that book.

 

I’ve felt this way for a while now but I never reached a trigger point. One of them was this image shared on Instagram today by my blogging buddy:

 

 

That’s kind of where I’m at. I feel like there’s too much false positivity where I am in the internet right now. I’m not stopping blogging on this blog. I hope you join me every Friday for the #ArchiveLove link up. I’ll be here at least weekly for that.

 

The other reason for kind-of-hiatusing is that I’m tired. I feel like I’ve been sick or injured or infected all of 2017 so far. At the start of the year I injured my shoulder and couldn’t function well. I had a massively painful and fevery bladder/kidney infection. Then my body decided to not poop for 10 days and nothing the doctors told me to do helped, until I got a prescription medication that sorted me out straight away. Then, overnight, I went from “hmm, my throat is a bit sore” to “HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS IT HURTS TO SWALLOW FUCKING WATER.” My best friend, tonsillitis, came to visit with two weeks of “empty stomach” antibiotics. I started to struggle to breathe at middle-end of that infection, so I’m now carrying puffers everywhere with me. I had a 7 day period in which, between Ben & I, we had 5 hospital appointments, GP appointments and medical tests. I can’t remember how many times Ben has been in the emergency department this year already. Or how many times I’ve had to grab medical equipment at home and help him take readings so we can decide if he’s bad enough to go to emergency or if it will pass.

 

I’ve spent the past few weeks with bad sinus pain and last Wednesday I was too dizzy to get out of bed, let alone go to work (I’m off to the doctor this afternoon to talk about that pain, because it is not improving). The ex-cyclone knocked down part of a tree across our driveway so we couldn’t get out on Friday and people with the faux mateship pole up their ass kept “helping” aka telling us we clearly weren’t used to chopping down trees and interrupted our break and started dragging things around our yard. (Some people were nice in the way they offered, but a few were just wankers who wanted to feel faux good about themselves.)

 

Oh yeah, and throughout all of this I have a full time job to go to. I am out of nearly every kind of leave, just trying to manage my fucking life. I am tired. I want long service leave from life. I want more money so we don’t keep having to scrape the bottom of the barrel for private specialist appointments. I’m scared of having surgery. I don’t know how I will get home from surgery unless I can afford to pay for Ben to get driving lessons. Which I can’t afford because we need to pay for medical specialists.

 

I’m still trying to write, just anything, in my special journal. This morning I was talking about the “fill your cup” type of philosophy that you see online. In principle, I agree. But I can’t manage it. I’m annoyed some days that I have to spend my energy on going to work. I want to know what a hobby is. I want the ability to read a book. But nope, I don’t know how to get the balance to take care of me first. I take care of things to make my week a lot smoother (eg cooking lunches for work) first. Then work happens and commuting happens and that’s all the energy I have. Where is the energy for me? A weekend is not long enough to recharge me.

 

It always feels better to write this stuff out. But I’m sure you can see why I need a break from my other blog. I just don’t have the space for it in my life right now. It’s sad, but that’s life.

 

27 Comment

  1. You have had such a bad run lately, it really is time to let go of things that use your precious energy. xxx N

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Yep. I hope to go back to it but there are more important things right now.

  2. All the best Vanessa. A break or a hiatus is a good thing. I hope it helps with the book writing. Your health is important. Focus on getting back to a healthful and enjoyable life.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I think it will be one less thing to do in the back of my mind, which is always helpful.

  3. Completely understandable in your situation! I really hope your year starts to get easier soon x

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I hope so too! I had a good sleep (something that had been lacking a bit too) last night and feel a lot better today for it.

  4. I think it’s totally understandable. I’ve been listening to the Minimalists podcast and they’re all about prioritising what gives your life meaning and value. It’s important to remember that you can do anything but you can’t do everything. Bloggers and Bacon will still be there, it’s just on the back burner. Take care x

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Oh Ben wants to watch their doco, he just saved it on Netflix.

  5. I think making the space to write the book is brave and wise. I keep thinking I should do the same but my blog routine is well established and my writing a book one non existent. Good luck – with the book and your health.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I’m still not sure of how to manage the writing of the book, but I’m sure I’ll find something.

  6. You gotta do what’s best for you. Having written two books, I know exactly what’s involved … mind you when I wrote them it was before social media LOL so that prob helped!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I’ve got a good 16,000+ words already, and some research to read (uh, when I find where I put it) so it’s a good start.

  7. It does help to get it all out!
    It doesn’t help when you feel like shit.
    Good luck with the book!
    For me to write a book I have to leave … go away … and have absolutely no kids, no husband, no social media, no cleaning, no day job and nothing else to distract me

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I went away when I was starting Bloggers and Bacon – two nights in a hotel and I got so much work done.

  8. I’m glad you wrote it all out but it still seems like an impossible life you are trying to lead under very challenging health and financial circumstances. I admire the way in which you have decided how much you can and can’t do for now. Do hope things go a bit better soon. Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek 14/52. Next week: Easter

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I’m grateful i certainly don’t earn min wage, but it also doesn’t spread far between two people and a dog.

  9. Get well soon! And I think it’s really good to have some blog sabbatical/hiatus because when I get back to it, I’m really more excited as I gain loads of new ideas from the blogging break. I will also be blogging more slowly this May as I’m going back to the workforce after being a stay-at-home parent for 2 years. All the best to you! xx

    Jacq
    jacqwritesworld.com

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Oh that’s a big change – I hope the transition goes smoothly for you.

  10. Makes perfect sense to take a break from one of the blogs…you’ve been through so much the past 6 months or so, right? I really hope things get better and you get back your energy. Take care!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I have had a lot of mentally and physically exhausting days, that’s for sure.

  11. Sometimes it’s good to let something sit for a while and not have to worry about it. Maybe it’ll help you come up with ideas for things that you want to write, as opposed to feeling like you’re forcing it. Best of luck xx

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      It probably will help me think of more things I want to do with it. I always get ideas when I “can’t” action them.

  12. All the best, Vanessa!

    SSG xxx

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Thanks 🙂

  13. Wow, I am surprised you can put one foot in front of the other let alone write a book. I hope the writing provides you with a wonderful and fulfilling distraction from the problems of every day life. Take care of you.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Some days I haven’t put one foot in front of the other!

  14. There’s definitely nothing wrong with taking a blogging break especially for self care! You deserve it!

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