My Biggest Roadblock
Right now, me.
I feel off-balance. But then, everything has been off-balanced for a month or so. Being run down, Ben being in hospital a few times, having lots of tests, in peak period at work, uni work due…I don’t want to say I’ve been struggling but something has also felt off. Not ominous off, just off. That’s why I’m trying to work out if a staycation will help me.
So is it me if I’ve had a lot of stuff going on? Well yes and no. I mean, there are factors outside my control, like having been sick for 4 days now, but none of that ceases the work or uni or energy I need for those.
I think with an unavoidable amount having happened in the last month, the little things that go wrong have pushed work back and it’s harder to cope. Last week my uni lecture didn’t upload (I contacted them and I’ve seen that they acknowledged it, but have been too tired since to log back in and see if it’s up), and the next lecture goes up today. That’s about 10 hours of reading and lectures waiting for me this week, just to stay on top of things.
It’s also a weird cold/flu I have. I’m not overly snotty or feverey. I just have the exhaustion parts. Last night I walked to the corner shop to get dessert as it was Ben’s birthday. The corner shop is only about 6 houses away – and yet my legs ached like hell when I got back.
I’ve been exercising regularly throughout all of this past month or so of muddled-ness and I can’t say it makes me feel better. It’s possibly making me feel worse. I guess it’s worth getting my iron checked again, but it doesn’t feel like low iron. It’s one of those things; if I go to a GP and tell them I’m exhausted, they’ll ask me about my life. I work full time, commute a lot (who doesn’t with how long it takes to get anywhere in Brisbane these days?), write, study part time, am a carer…yes, I have a lot on. But then if I tell that to someone, they’ll probably just tell me to drop anything that isn’t work and caring. But I need those other things for me, and I’m not willing to negotiate them away.
Sorry, I didn’t plan for that to turn into a rant. And generally speaking I do pretty well with it all on my plate, my systems work for me in getting shit done. Though the acne I’ve had recently can fuck off. Then again, it adds colour to my face when I’m pale… so, you know, silver linings and all.
Anyway, this is what happens when you blog while sick. Sorry.
Maybe my actual biggest roadblock is not getting downtime. But, again, trying to work out how a staycation might make me feel better. I’m not convinced it will right now. But it’s also my only option so it’s going to happen regardless!
Bleh. Be gone, cold/flu/whatever the fuck you are.