My Biggest Roadblock

my biggest roadblock

My Biggest Roadblock


Right now, me.


I feel off-balance. But then, everything has been off-balanced for a month or so. Being run down, Ben being in hospital a few times, having lots of tests, in peak period at work, uni work due…I don’t want to say I’ve been struggling but something has also felt off. Not ominous off, just off. That’s why I’m trying to work out if a staycation will help me.


So is it me if I’ve had a lot of stuff going on? Well yes and no. I Β mean, there are factors outside my control, like having been sick for 4 days now, but none of that ceases the work or uni or energy I need for those.


I think with an unavoidable amount having happened in the last month, the little things that go wrong have pushed work back and it’s harder to cope. Last week my uni lecture didn’t upload (I contacted them and I’ve seen that they acknowledged it, but have been too tired since to log back in and see if it’s up), and the next lecture goes up today. That’s about 10 hours of reading and lectures waiting for me this week, just to stay on top of things.


my biggest roadblock


It’s also a weird cold/flu I have. I’m not overly snotty or feverey. I just have the exhaustion parts. Last night I walked to the corner shop to get dessert as it was Ben’s birthday. The corner shop is only about 6 houses away – and yet my legs ached like hell when I got back.


I’ve been exercising regularly throughout all of this past month or so of muddled-ness and I can’t say it makes me feel better. It’s possibly making me feel worse. I guess it’s worth getting my iron checked again, but it doesn’t feel like low iron. It’s one of those things; if I go to a GP and tell them I’m exhausted, they’ll ask me about my life. I work full time, commute a lot (who doesn’t with how long it takes to get anywhere in Brisbane these days?), write, study part time, am a carer…yes, I have a lot on. But then if I tell that to someone, they’ll probably just tell me to drop anything that isn’t work and caring. But I need those other things for me, and I’m not willing to negotiate them away.


Sorry, I didn’t plan for that to turn into a rant. And generally speaking I do pretty well with it all on my plate, my systems work for me in getting shit done. Though the acne I’ve had recently can fuck off. Then again, it adds colour to my face when I’m pale… so, you know, silver linings and all.


Anyway, this is what happens when you blog while sick. Sorry.


Maybe my actual biggest roadblock is not getting downtime. But, again, trying to work out how a staycation might make me feel better. I’m not convinced it will right now. But it’s also my only option so it’s going to happen regardless!


Bleh. Be gone, cold/flu/whatever the fuck you are.


17 Replies to “My Biggest Roadblock”

  1. achy body parts sounds like flu to me. Hope hubby is ok, and that you can get some downtime soon.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Yeah, still aching 4+ days later. But I’ve now used up my sick leave so back to work tomorrow. With drugs.

  2. Awww chook, hope you feel better soon. Agree with Cate – sounds like something fluey. Hubs and I have had something similar – its going around Brissy at the moment.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I’ve heard it’s been a bad early flu season…hopefully my flu shot keeps the worst away!

  3. I give you credit that you are blogging while feeling like crap. I would have linked up an old post and gone back to bed.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Haha never underestimate the capacity of a blogger to rant πŸ™‚

  4. It sounds like things are pretty full on and you need a refresher. Sometimes just some time out doing my own thing like watching a movie, reading a book or enjoying a place I like to go helps me out.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I’ve been trying to keep books from the library on hand for relaxation and mental breaks but I keep not reading them πŸ™‚

  5. Really know how you feel. As far as staycations go, I know for me unless there an actual agenda, a loose plan of attack and some serious social media free time, I just end up feeling frustrated and like I’ve wasted time.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      That’s where I’m struggling with the staycation idea! My first actual paid time off in years was over Christmas/New Years and while it was good, it didn’t feel special or enough and I’m wondering if that’s because I didn’t/couldn’t go away. All the ideas and stuff online are good but I just can’t see it feeling special enough to be refreshing. And I really *need* some refreshing.

  6. I’m feeling quite ordinary today. Almost like I’m hungover but my throat is a bit sore and I’ve got a lot of sinus pain under my eyes. I had the long drive and a 12hr day at work yesterday so fortunate I have today off. I’m due back in the office tomorrow (and have only been in the job for 2mths so don’t feel I can take sick days yet!).

    I got up early before my work trip yesterday to try to finish the blog post due that day (Sunday had been spent starting to tidy my place and cull stuff as I’m thinking of selling!), but I had something else to finish first and didn’t get to it.

    I stressed all day throughout the drive about the fact I hadn’t done that post and realised later I was stressing myself out for no reason at all. The post-per-day thing was my own doing. Plus I’d spent my spare time Sunday reading over 40 other book bloggers’ posts instead of writing my Monday post and that had been my decision. So….

    We can be so hard on ourselves some time. I had a big list of stuff I was supposed to do today. (Contract a Real Estate agent, get electrician out, get blinds person time scheduled, organise cleaners, write 2+ blog posts, do big tidy of my apartment (now I’ve done some culling))… but I’ve ticked off only two of those things…. *sigh*

    1. PS. Sorry – that turned into a big vent / debrief!

    2. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I’m really good at obligating myself to things and stressing about them. That long day and long drive you had – wow. I feel like everyone collectively needs a month or two off right now!

  7. Twin posts this week. I hear you. Sometimes pushing yourself to exercise can lead to more exhaustion. Give yourself a guilt free week OFF a couple of things to regain your energy. Your body will thank you. I used to run myself into the ground because I could not let go of things.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      My week off will be in about a month – I’m smack-bang in peak working period and I’m counting down until mid-May!!

  8. We’ve just had a HUGE 10 days with friends from NZ staying with us – but we still had to work! And now I’m ready to collapse in a heap. Luckily there were no colds or flus thrown into the mix. Hope you are feeling better soon xxx

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      How did you go feeding them all? πŸ™‚

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