As you may have seen from social media posts, we recently moved house. Apparently one of the most stressful times in someones life, it felt a bit compounded for us by having been in the one (crummy) rental for over 9 years, and basically moving at one week’s notice. And physically moving everything ourselves (ourselves including a few family members to help on furniture day!).
The past few weeks have been a blur of packing and moving and cleaning. I can’t really remember if I’ve had any hesitation or mixed feelings about moving. Mostly what I’ve felt is exhaustion at moving and frustration at not being 100% out of the old house (100% out including keys back, bond refunded, all ties with the old real estate severed forever.)
Change Makes Us Weird And That’s Ok
I remember the weirdest feeling about change that I have had in the past though. I was doing an ok but random job (aka so very far from a career position that it wasn’t funny) and in the short time I was there, we moved from a crummy office to a dedicated space.
The crummy office was quite crummy, not only did it not work for the type of work the business did, there was also a day when it rained so much the roof leaked. Which meant I got dripped on if I leaned the wrong way at my desk. And it was such a small space there was no where else for me to even sit. Crummy.
I was only in the crummy office for maybe a week before we moved to a dedicated space. It was larger, more appropriate for the business, and (as far as I know) it didn’t leak. And yet, one day I was sitting at my new desk in the dedicated space and I felt a weird pang. I found myself wishing that I was back in the old crummy office.
Yes, the one that dripped on me:
Did I want to be leaked on?
Some sort of waterboarding for work?
Of course not.
The new place was really suitable for the business and I liked it. I even got to “design” some of it, if you call swapping chair cushions around to be designing:
The weird pang I felt about “missing” the old place was just a lack of familiarity with the new place. That’s all.
I’m not an expert in feelings or change, other than as someone who tries to recognise my own patterns and avoid bad habits/self-sabotage/whatever else we do along those lines. But what I have found is that feeling the weird feelings during change is important. Of course it’s weird. It’s different. It’s not bad, but the weird feelings are (again, how I view it) a way of processing.
That same week I felt a pang about missing a leaky office, I started feeling at home in the new office. Even a good change can produce weird feelings. And that’s ok.
Recognise What’s Going On For You
Obviously moving house impacts everyone, not just myself. For me though, my mood has been in the pits. But I also know why. The last three weekends have looked like this:
- Weekend 1: Packing boxes
- Weekend 2: Moving house
- Weekend 3: Cleaning old house
That has left me with little downtime and I’m acutely feeling it. I know I need downtime. I am cranky and a bummer to be around without space to recharge. But I also know that there will be space upcoming for me to recharge, so in the mean time, I’m trying to ride out the feelings of cranky and frustration by knowing that it’s related to a short term “thing” and it will pass.
Have you ever felt weird about a change, even a good one? How do you process it?
11 Replies to “Change Makes Us Weird And That’s Ok”
Absolutely. I find it strange that as humans that which was previously cause for complaint and disappointment suddenly becomes all soft-focused and rosy – just because it’s familiar. Us humans are strange people. How do I process it – by finding something stable and familiar, something I can control and focussing on that until the space presents itself.
It’s such a weird perspective thing that happens to us. I currently feel both at home and not in the new house. Probably all the boxes are contributing to that!!
Yes I’m feeling very weird about moving out of our lovely home of 15 years into a rental whilst we build a new house. I have mixed emotions about it all, but I know I will eventually be fine. #TeamLovinLife
Oh that would be a big change, but so good that you’re getting the house you want at the end of it.
I cannot believe you both put up with “that house” for 9 years. Wow. I am so pleased for you both that you are where you are now.
Despite us making the very sensible move to downsize and retired to the coast, it did almost do me in…..from an emotional perspective in terms of my inner reactions to ALL the CHANGES…then I got cancer, and look, it seems I can do what I have to.
Really so happy for you and B…and Vala..and every photo I see confirms you have made the right decision. I am sure too, this will flow over into B’s health and your career
Good things are ahead my friend.,
Yes, I hope we get to stay where we are for a while. Mostly for comfort’s sake but also I couldn’t afford to relocate again! I am still struggling with some of the BS that is going on behind the scenes but trying so hard to remember that it will pass.
Oh yes, stepping out of our comfort zone can be hard. I’ve been working with people who seemingly REALLY struggle with change at the moment and I’m surprised by the minor things that have been really getting to them. But of course I do realise they’re actually symptoms of bigger problems. (Which have nothing to do with me or the move!)
Yep I’ve had that in my day job too. Especially as my job is to be 6 months ahead of where people are at right now. I trigger everyone 🙂
Change can be good but it can be unsettling – particularly when it comes to our *sanctuary* which is what our home is. Moving is stressful! I have had similar unsettling stress with my recent home renovations. It’s created chaos and constant intrusions into my private sactuary which, as an introvert, has been unsettling, stressful and draining. The end result is worth it though but I could not do renovations that go on for months and months and months!! I hope you settle into your new home very quickly. #TeamLovinLife
Yes, the loss of the feeling of privacy and adjustment to all of that is trying. Also as an introvert I feel like I haven’t had any of that recharge time in 4 weekends now (and it’s my busy time at work so I can’t take leave) and I’m struggling!
I think we all like our comfort and familiarity brings comfort. I actually like change – I get bored with same, same. I’d love to move house. I dream of it. Having said that, the thought of actually doing it (the physical side of it all) makes me freak. Not in my immediate future, but something I’ll need to think about in 5-10 years I suppose.
Sounds like it was a big job! And to no have much notice sucks. I don’t think I could cope with that. I’d need a decent lead in time …