What Do You Really Want?

What do you really want

A comment I just posted over on Emily Hawker’s blog has made me think. Well, the blog post made me think too, obviously, if I commented on it.


What do you really want? Out of life? Out of work? Out of free time?

What do you really want


And how often do you realise that you need to review this? What I want now may not be the same as what I wanted six months ago. Or five years ago.


I recently made the decision to let something go. Something I was convinced would work for me. Only now, in hindsight, I see that it was totally wrong for me. Isn’t hindsight wonderful?


I’ve read a little bit about personal retreats recently, how many business leaders take time out in seclusion to think about themselves. It was self care before it became a buzzword. They got to be alone. They were able to think about themselves. To relax. To see the future of their businesses.


And that’s what’s so great about self care. When you feel good, it’s easier to help others. I think there is still a perception that self care is selfish. But I just don’t see how it can be. It’s the same as people who have high financial goals not only for their own freedom, but so they can fund things like scholarships.


Too often I think we think too big. I think a large impact of this is mainstream media; stories keep having to get bigger, more sensational. More removed from everyday lives.


There’s a scene from one of my favourite episodes of Stargate Atlantis (Brain Storm) that I feel applies here (transcript source here):


KELLER: You know, my Uncle George – he always hated the phrase “save the planet.”


KELLER: Well, he just thought it was a little backwards, you know, ‘cause the planet’s gonna be here no matter what happens. It might be a giant unliveable rock but it’s gonna survive.

KRAMER: So you’re turning this into a discussion on semantics?!

KELLER: What I mean is, Mr Kramer, the work you’re doing isn’t about saving the planet – it’s about saving lives, and that’s a noble pursuit, trying to save billions of people. But it’s no less noble to save a hundred. These guys, no matter how smart they are, they could use some help. One phone call could get that help here. Now, please – please let me make that call.


The key message:

the work you’re doing isn’t about saving the planet – it’s about saving lives, and that’s a noble pursuit, trying to save billions of people. But it’s no less noble to save a hundred


And how it applies to us all:

It’s no less noble to take care of yourself than it is to take care of others.


So how often do you take the time for some self care and think, “What do I really want?”


26 Replies to “What Do You Really Want?”

  1. Self care is vital. Some days though, you only need a few minutes, for some people it is a quiet cup of coffee. Or just coffee.

    For me, I need every day to start with a hot shower, with no one banging on the day and asking where their shoes are. It rarely happens but when it does, it’s peace and quiet and wonderful.

    1. I’m trying to find my way into daily self care…stealing moments is harder for me than stealing days for it! I’m good at finding some hours for myself on my days off work though. I only really started to consider most of this stuff in the past year or two so it’s all very new to me.

  2. I think about it a lot, actually. Which can be hard to do when you’ve got toddlers, but also ESSENTIAL. What do I really want? most days it’s to get some fresh air, read something in peace for an hour, and WORLD TRAVEL. heheh.

    1. World domination travel is a goal I think we all need! If only because it helps us be kinder people when we see more than our own doorstep.

  3. Thanks for the mention! I feel cleansed, I gotta tell you.

    And what I want from this life is simple. Chocolate. 😉

    Great quote. We do often think too big, and then think we can’t achieve those things, so give up instead of zooming in on the smaller things.

    1. I thought you might feel better after blogging it haha. Chocolate is a great goal.

  4. Not often enough, but I know that my turn will come to do this eventually! Em – also visiting as part of #teamIBOT

    1. Barricade the door if you need to haha – steal some time 🙂

  5. As a mum I find it hard to find the time to take care of me. It is so important though and I try to schedule me time as much as I can. I am a better mum when I look after me.

    1. I think we all really can dedicate better time to others when we take care of ourselves.

  6. It is incredibly important to nurture yourself so that you can become the best you can be therefore passing your good vibes onto others. Sometimes it is hard to do without feeling guilty. I have everything I want I just need to remember to stop and appreciate it. Thanks for the thought provoking post !

    1. Actually taking the time to just stop is one of the things I find hardest.

  7. It is important to nuture yourself, I am getting better as the kids get older and don’t need me for that baby stage anymore.

    1. It must be so hard when you’re in the baby stages, to have someone else totally dependent on you!

  8. After 13 years of mothering I am only just starting to realise how important self care is. So much so that I have even started pointing out to the girls how it is important for them to let me have some time to do what I need to do for me so I can be a better mum for them.

    1. It’s probably a good thing for teenagers to learn too – it’s one of the most overwhelming times of life.

  9. I always think of the airplane safety message analogy when people say they feel selfish for taking time out for themselves. The reason they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting anyone else is because, well to put it bluntly you can’t help anyone if you can’t breathe and die. So if you are run down, stressed etc because you haven’t taken time out for yourself, then the care that you give others isn’t as effective.

    1. That’s a fantastic analogy Tegan!

  10. I think looking after ourselves is really important, but it’s one of those things we often don’t balance well. We either forget about ourselves, or go the other way and become selfish. So it becomes a balancing act, trying to get it just right.
    And there are times in our lives too where I think we need to focus a little more or less on ourselves depending on circumstances. I like the idea of reviewing that you brought up. That’s such a simple, but potentially very effective thing to do.

    1. Reviewing is something I’m slowly coming to learn. Because we do change. And I think I was holding onto things & goals I have no interest in anymore.

  11. That’s brilliant and so true. Take care of yourself before you take care of others. And if every single person helped just a few people we’d all be better off.

    I think this really fits with writing too. If your writing touches “just” a hundred people then that’s brilliant. You don’t have to be read by millions, or write about “big” issues to make a difference. You’ve certainly made me think, thanks:)

    1. That’s so true. One person can be touched forever by a piece of writing, and that can change them forever. And that’s so much more valuable than some high statistic of readership!

  12. What a fantastic post and a great message. Thanks for linking up for our Worth Casing blogger of the month for May at Agent Mystery Case. I’m really looking forward to ‘casing’ your blog.

    1. Thanks 🙂

  13. This is an excellent question, and one that we can’t actually (but forget to… I know I do!) ask ourselves enough. Thanks for the thought-provoking read!

    1. Thanks for reading, Corrine 🙂

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