Passion. Life.

Passion. Life.

Last week was big. And it’s a long story, and it’s not really one for the internet. The outcome was that from Thursday last week until yesterday, I’ve been lying in front of my TV and watching DVDs while playing mindless games like Solitaire.


But also thinking about my future. As I look for new work, I’ve been considering what that really means to me. I have a lot of skills. I have a lot of talent. I’ve written before about being in the exact situation I’m in right now. And yet, nothing has stuck. I’ve learned a lot, I’ve learned nothing. Have I learned if I’m in the exact same situation?


What is my passion? What does my life need?


Passion. Life.


Writing has been the consistent thing in my life. Blogging is something I have done for longer than most other things in my life.


Oddly enough, in the past month I’ve had a few different people independently all tell me the same (positive) thing about my skills and suggestions for moving forwards. It has actually freaked me out so much I’ve basically ignored it. But it’s sitting in the back of my mind.


My love of consuming TV shows (on DVD, with commentary) isn’t something I write about much. Mostly because I stay spoiler free and the internet is very spoiler-filled.


I’ve wondered in what way I might use writing in my career & if I should be teaching myself scriptwriting skills. I did take an elective at uni in scriptwriting…I love TV shows…is that an area I should go towards?


But then I think, I can’t do scriptwriting because I can’t write dialogue!


So then I think back further to creative writing in high school – I’m not sure I ever did well on descriptions in those stories either.


And then my brain shut down. What else is there? If I think I can’t write dialogue & I can’t write descriptions then what on earth was ever in any creative writing that I’ve done?


It’s a good thing my office needs cleaning out (again) because I can go and find some old stories to read.


I was thinking yesterday about what advice I would give someone going to uni. I would tell them to study what they’re interested in. Why? Not because I buy that “love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life” slogan that people love to throw around (everything, even a passion, has good days and bad days – it’s unrealistic to think otherwise) but because doing what you’re interested in makes the harder times easier to stick with. It’s better to be working toward something that will fulfil you rather than something that ticks boxes on a ‘should do’ scale. Believe you me, this isn’t an idealistic conversation. I don’t buy into starving artist and would wholeheartedly say to someone to have a commercial skill. Or something you can fool others into thinking is your ‘real’ career. Because sometimes you’ll have to convince them of that to get a job.


Where is this post going? I don’t know. I’m on a bit of a journey right now to find out how I balance all of the things above in my life.


19 Replies to “Passion. Life.”

  1. I’m going through this myself at the moment. After years of putting my career on hold and doing what was in front of me, I might finally be able to look at my passions. Just need to work out what they are.

    Although, it’s all good and well to study what you love but if there are limited jobs in that field I’m not sure it helps.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I guess I feel that I’ve spent years faking a career (not faking as in lying about skills, but more on the “I would do this if I won lotto tomorrow” side) and I feel like it hasn’t really gotten me anywhere.
      I hope you get some time to work out what your passions really are. It’s a good and bad journey I think!! 🙂

  2. I think that finding your passion and following it in a work sense is everyones dream, and the reality of only a few. I know that sounds sad, but it just seems to be true for most people. Even finding what you’re passionate about, seems like an impossible challenge for most people. Am I being too much of a pessimist?!!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      No, I think that is all pretty fair to say; very realistic. I guess I just wonder where I would be with a passion if I had followed that rather than a ‘supposed to’ path. I mean I haven’t 100% done one or the other, but in terms of what pays the rent, I’ve had a few years of relevant professional work and the rest of it has been stop-gap work.

      The other variable is how much people know that they can look for their passion, rather than a ‘good career’. I don’t know, I’ve never seen a stable job in my life, just contracts, so I don’t buy into a career in the traditional sense. Does it even exist any more?

  3. I’m in the middle of finding new work… I know I want to persue my writing and social media work but financially need to keep telling in the meantime… Go I go full time? Part time ? I don’t know

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      It’s really hard to make that choice, isn’t it? Good luck with the path you choose – or if choosing is half the challenge like it is with me!!

  4. Hey I’m doing a writing course to try and work out what I want to do. Or rater get qualified at what I like doing.
    It’s not an easy question, the ‘what to be’ one, and who says it has just one answer?
    I do hope you find some kind of happy direction soon though. x

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      I think I know somewhere in my head that I’m meant to find my own way – I even tried a masters in writing but didn’t like it!

  5. You know just enjoy the down time as you’ll soon be busy. Often a change of direction when we’re older ensures we are really doing what we want!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Oh yep, those days off were excellent and SO very needed. This week is picking up a bit already but at least for once in my life I have actually relaxed 🙂

  6. Good luck with working it out Vanessa! If writing is really your passion then look at it pragmatically – the writing you can do to make reasonable money (even if it isn’t really what you want, it’s still working on your writing skills); the writing that makes you some money (may not pay a great deal, but you enjoy it more); and the writing that you love that may not make you anything (right now) but is your passion. Work out the balance of what you need and even if you need another stop-gap part-time job to make ends meet and go for it!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      That’s a really excellent way to look at it Kathy, thanks 🙂

  7. I can sense you’re at a crossroads and sometimes searching for the answer doesn’t reveal anything startling. I always think that if your gut is nagging at you, you should listen, but you need to be ready and in a position to listen. Probably not helpful, AT ALL, but I think I’ve been to a similar place. xx

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Timing can be everything when making changes.

  8. Why don’t you see if there are any scriptwriting courses around?! Perhaps you could see a career counsellor for guidance? The right thing will come knocking all in good time. Enjoy vegging out while you can 🙂

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Lots of things have come knocking in recent days even…I’m just not good at waiting to see what works its way out!

  9. Keep dreaming. Keep pursuing your passions. Sometimes you need to have a base though so you can work towards your passion. Don’t feel sad or bad that you’re at this point in your life either. I often find when you’re at a point like you are right now, awesome things happen and opportunities that you weren’t ready for or even looking for come up. Enjoy the vegging out for the time being. x

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      You’ve hit the nail on the head. Even in the past 24 hours things have changed and I have options opening up. I’m just not patient & like to be actively working towards something, rather than waiting for things to reveal themselves.

  10. Oh dear how I relate. I was booked to do Arts/Performing Arts at Uni mainly to learn how to write, not to perform. I love good TV, movies, theatre. But then I got into advertising and the only writing I ever did was what I was told, in order to sell something! When one is at a crossroads, I think the best idea is a short course to reinvigorate oneself while you can. Good luck! #teamIBOT

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