If I Was To Run A Diet Scam

If I Was To Run A Diet Scam

If I Was To Run A Diet Scam

I’m not sure why, but last night my husband & I decided to think of diet scams…this is the resulting list. I apologise in advance for our brains.

Ice Cream Diet: Ice cream shrinks your stomach, so the more ice cream you eat, the less food you can fit in there.

Ear Size Diet: You can only eat things that would fit in your ear.

Mar-Soup-Ial Diet: Soups made solely from marsupials.

Fish-Head Popsicle Diet: One fish-head popsicle is 3 on the unique scale system of healthy food. You need to eat 15-20 scales per day.

Netflix Diet: Chips. Packets & packets of chips. Can be combined with the Ice Cream Diet.

Gherkin Diet: Based on the “if Maccas can have a heart healthy tick, anyone can” principle.

If I Was To Run A Diet Scam


Cactus Diet: Can only eat spiky foods that rip your insides to shreds.

Hobo Diet: Fried rats cooked over discarded oil drums.

Faraday Cage Diet: Can only eat food cooked within the faraday cage and activated by the energy of the lightning around it.

Space Monsters Diet: Can only eat space monsters cooked by astronauts on the International Space Station.

What diet scam would you run?

20 Replies to “If I Was To Run A Diet Scam”

  1. I think the Netflix diet is my kinda thing. Sounds pretty okay to this preggie!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      It’s probably my first choice!

  2. The half diet. Eat whatever you want, but only half a portion!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Ooh excellent!

  3. My toddler is on the Ear Size Diet. He insists on double checking that things actually fit in his ear before eating them… or sometimes his nose…

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Haha oh dear.

  4. Am gonna go for a combo of your Ice Cream and Netflix diet!!! Starting yesterday!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Haha it is a pretty temping one. We just put a movie on and I could kind of go something crispy.

  5. The one handed, one chopstick diet – all you can eat with one chopstick held in one hand.
    I like the ice scream diet though.

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Ooh that sounds challenging. It might actually work for me haha.

  6. Great Post, Loved your diet suggestions they made me giggle 🙂

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Thanks 🙂

  7. I’m on the Netflix diet, right now! I’m reading your post while watching How I Met Your Mother reruns and just finishing my third bowl of chips! LOL!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      So far I’m avoiding Netflix well because I may just never move from the couch again…

  8. Definitely the Netflix Diet for me, or maybe my own combo of Dumplings and Donuts. Not only because I love dumplings and donuts (I mean, who doesn’t?!) but because I also love alliteration!

    1. Vanessa Smith says: Reply

      Dumplings and donuts – I wish I had thought of that. And I love alliteration 🙂

  9. Hahaha you are fabulous – James and I do these kinds of things all the time. In the car usually.. or if we have heard something completely ridiculous.

    I’d go the child diet – eat anything you want, as long as it weighs the same as a small child 🙂

  10. I would do the chocolate diet. 1 piece of chocolate every hour of the day. 🙂

  11. I like the idea of the Faraday Cage diet personally. I was watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and the idiot rich woman was doing a workout that involved lifting furniture in and out of houses with a cranky foreign man as a coach… then realised it was a moving company. Fad excercise cult hilarity.

  12. So many choices – I think I am a fan of the M&M and coke diet 🙂

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