Why Do I Think I Don’t Fit In The Business World?

I have a “thing” where I don’t feel like I fit into any sort of business, freelance or “start up” world.


Why Do I Think I Don’t Fit In The Business World?


Why Do I Think I Don't Fit In The Business World?


And I know the reason. It’s because I have a day job. I’ve written about how I don’t want to quit my job and blog full time. It isn’t for me. I know this. But I also don’t want to work full time. I don’t think I’m made for that. I don’t have the capacity to people well for five days in a week. You will not get the best out of me in that situation. However, the current reality of my life is that I do work full time. Anything blog, business, writing, or general freelance that I do has to work around the outside of my day job because my day jobs is what pays my bills. And I am a responsible adult who pays her bills.


But in the past I’ve also felt pushed out by this. I gave up trying to be interviewed on podcasts because I am out of the house eleven or more or so hours per day for work, commuting and  gym. I am not a “hustler” who can be on 24/7, so I also need alone time in the evening and space to do chores such as wash clothes and cook meals.


That’s actually mostly fine with me these days. Generally speaking, I have more energy than I did back in my tonsil-having days and I cope quite well with long days and the needs of my life. Ups and downs have impacted that this year with my injury but overall, I manage fine.


But it also feels isolating to the non day job aspects of my life when I can’t be available when someone else wants to interview me, or meet up, or attend a conference and networking session. Any of those very important start-up business type of things. I don’t know where I get this from and I don’t wish for anyone to read this blame on them, but I do feel like I’m looked down upon sometimes for having a full-time job and outside interests.


The fact of the matter is that I have a lot of financial goals for the easier met by a day job full time presently, and probably for quite a few years. And even if I do manage to build side income to the point where I can drop a few days a week of work, I actually think I still want to keep a job. It’s part of having shiny object syndrome and personally I just think it would feel better. I think it’s a mix that will suit me and allow for “comfort zone” and challenges.


I don’t meet the ideal image of a start up person. Or a freelancer. Or basically any image in my head of business and working for yourself.


But I also don’t meet most images in my life. At my age, I’m not expected to be a carer unless it’s for a child. I’m not expected to have a dependent unless it’s a child. But that’s not what I want or how it works for me. And yet, generally that doesn’t bother me. My opinion is fuck off if you don’t like my life, it’s my life, not yours.


So why does it bother me in a business context?? Why?


I’m setting up my freelance services to suit me. This means only taking on work that

  • I like
  • Isn’t urgent
  • Can be briefed via email/organisation tools and not in person/on phone calls
  • That pays well


Anything outside of those variables makes it not worthwhile for me.

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