A month ago I was diagnosed with Vitamin D deficiency. I had the muscle fatigue as the main symptom, but what’s bothering me now is how tiring it is. I’m bored.
Fatigue Is So Damn Boring
The problem is, I can’t do much. I can’t concentrate, I’m not really interested in books or tv/movies, and I so bloody sick of resting. I have a desk job, so sitting still on the weekend makes me antsy. But I don’t have the energy to do anything and I am someone who will overdo it due to boredom and make it worse. I learned that when I had glandular fever a decade ago and started going on long walks every day instead of resting.
Advice Can Suck A Rotten Egg
All the advice on googleable medicalish websites can go suck a rotten egg.
- Yes, I am sleeping enough
- I drink a lot of water
- I rarely drink alcohol
- Exercise isn’t hugely possible but some days even in incidental steps are in the high 9000s
- I prep veggie filled meals and have good snacks on hand
In fact, I use up a lot of my limited available energy just to do those things that are supposed to be good for me. I’m sure they are good for me. But they don’t actually fix anything. I resent how much of my energy these things use up.
Everything Can Just Fuck Off
I’m tired of always having a small “thing”. For years it was chronic tonsillitis. Then it was low iron. Then I hurt my shoulder at work and lived in agony for months. It’s highly likely that I developed the vitamin d deficiency due to my shoulder injury earlier this year (not moving and going outside like I used to).
I don’t want to be resilient. I want “little” medical conditions to fuckedy fuck off and leave me the fuck alone.
I’m Tired
A low mood is often associated with vitamin d deficiency. Got that. I’m tired. I’m bored. I’m not easily entertained. I don’t like most humans. It’s boring to feel this way. I want to fast forward to when supplements and sitting in the sun have fixed me, please.
Keep This Crap In!
Lots of people don’t like posts like this. Keep your bad things to yourself and only spout rainbow unicorns from your butt to the external world(s). I say go shove it. If I want to talk and write and tweet and whatever about it, then I damn well will. I’m very anti cult of happiness.
Good night.
