I keep meaning to resurrect my weekly Saturday interview series with other bloggers. Only I keep forgetting to actually email people with questions. So I figured I would just interview myself.
Me: Hi Vanessa, we’re so glad to have you here today!
Me: Thanks, it’s great to be here!
Me: First things first, is it ok if I call you Vanessa?
Me: Why would that bother me? My name is Vanessa…
Me: Well, some people have nicknames, others prefer formal titles. It’s not so wrong to make sure I’m calling you by a name that you’re comfortable with.
Me: Fair point.
Me: Thank you.
Me: In light of that, I would like you to call me Queen Slimsy Cowpea.
Me: Ok…So, Queen Slimsy Cowpea, how was your Easter long weekend?
Me: Uh…sorry, I think the correct way of referring to the Queen is by the use of ‘Your Majesty’
Me: Fine. Your Majesty, Queen Slimsy Cowpea, how was your Easter long weekend?
Me: It was the same length of time as yours. Why do you ask?
Me: Well I just thought it would be a nice way of easing into the interview, you know. Get us both at ease with each other and all that.
Me: But we’re the same person? Why wouldn’t we be at ease with each other?
Me: Well you just told me that I have to refer you to as Your Majesty, so…
Me: Are you implying that I don’t deserve to be Queen!?
Me: I didn’t say that.
Me: But you implied it!
Me: But I didn’t say that.
Me: So why should I keep answering your questions?
Me: Well, Your Majesty, we are the same people after all, so on some level you also think this is a good idea.
Me: Oh, right, suuure.
Me: Do you have a problem with that, Your Madge?
Me: Well I am having second thoughts about this interview now.
Me: I’m just not sure that a Queen would really be talking to someone like you.
Me: But you are me!
Me: Yes! Haven’t you noticed that the names don’t change when one of us is asking versus answering a question?
Me: Are you implying the Queen is dumb?
Me: Hey, you said it…
Me: So did you actually have a question for me?
Me: I don’t really know if you deserve the awesomeness of my questions anymore.
Me: So now you’re better than the Queen?
Me: Well technically I am also the Queen.
Me: So we’re at a stalemate then.
Me: It appears to be so.
…to be continued…