I’m struggling to define what I want out of my career. And where my career even is.
I’ve written before about how I miss being a subject matter expert. I have days when I wish for a job that will challenge me again. It makes me feel, on the surface, ungrateful for my job because while it can be challenging, it’s not intellectually challenging.
The thing is, my day job fulfills a lot for me right now too. I finally have a secure income after SO MANY years of contract work. Now that I’m tonsil-free I can stop using my rec leave for sick days because I’m out of sick days and actually maybe one day like plan a holiday? Holidays are things people take, right?
It’s Good Enough For Me Right Now
I can get loans easily. It made it easy for me to buy a new car. I’m working away at my 2018 goal of paying off some debt. I have flexibility in my start and end times. I have TOIL. I get to work mostly alone. (For now.)
It ticks nearly every box. It would be really, really hard to find a job that ticks this many boxes.
Of course, none of this is forever. I know a permanent job isn’t really all that permanent these days. Entire jobs become redundant. Bosses change, and with that could change my flexibility. And this may very much be coming at me soon in my day job, thanks to restructures.
I guess I need to learn patience. That no, my job isn’t intellectually stimulating. But it ticks 98% of boxes that I need and want in my life right now.
So why am I looking at the 2% that it doesn’t tick? Is it that I value a lack of commute and intellectual stimulation more than I value flexibility and security? Maybe, but I don’t function well under financial stress or micromanagers, so I don’t think that is it.
I can logically accept that I have a good enough job. But somewhere that’s not enough. Maybe I need to learn patience. Maybe it’s not enough, but I’m burying it down deep.
This concept of “good enough” may be particularly relevant to a shiny person like me. I liked this article saying that maybe what people like me need in life is the bills paid via a job and the rest of our fulfillment from our interests. Maybe that is good. Maybe that’s where that 2% missing needs to be found. Maybe I’ll find that with my Shiny Project Management. I hope so.
How do you feel about your job (or freelance work, or whatever you do)? Does it tick all the boxes? Do you believe it’s possible for one thing to tick all the boxes?