You might be aware that earlier this year I released a book called Fuck Should. I also released a fuck-free version called Llama Should, for those who want less fucks.
Why I Wrote Fuck Should
I’ve gotten a lot of advice over the years. Some good. Some thoughtful. Other bits of advice were a “hidden” way of critiquing my choices in life. #NotAsSubtleAsYouThinkYouWere
My philosophy on advice is simple. Worthwhile advice needs to come from someone who trusts and respects you. Without trust and respect, the advice is often about the fears, abilities, and goals of someone else.
So Why Did I Write Fuck Should?
A business facebook group I’m in often asks us our why. At times I’ve struggled to answer, thought it was stupid, been really positive towards it… why is a question that lets me feel and process every emotion. In persisting with this question, I’ve learned what my why is.
My why is using my knowledge, education and experiences to help others make genuine decisions for themselves without disrespecting the norms, but by acknowledging that the decision won’t work if it was not made in their best interest.
That is why I wrote Fuck Should. Shoulds can be shallow. Shoulds can be deeply ingrained cultural norms that you don’t want but find it impossible to break away from. Shoulds encompass a whole range of things. In life, you need to embrace or discard things according to your needs. There’s a wide spectrum of how people see Shoulds, how they use them, how easy it is to adapt them to suit… and everything else you can possibly think of around this. There’s no one answer. But I wanted the idea out there.
6 Replies to “Why I Wrote Fuck Should”
I’m one of those people who prefer the word llama! But I definitely agree with breaking free from those things people feel we should do.
I like your why. There are way too many “shoulds” in life and the more of them we listen to and act on, sometimes the further away from our true self we land.
A great explanation of your why, and well done on your book! #lifethisweek
I love that you had a llama version too and that you’ve not just found your why but are able to explain it so succinctly!
I would like others prefer the llama version even though I am not into llamas. I am getting less and less into ‘shoulds’ these days and suspect ageing, wisdom gleaned from life and a dose of cancer has helped me see what my wants and coulds are more now.
Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week the optional prompt is 41/51 “Your Choice of Prompt” 14/10/19. Hope to see you there, Denyse.
I’ve kinda been awol this year so out of the loop big time, but I don’t mind swearing (as you know).
And… as my post this week was about ‘shoulds’ as well I completely understand the burdensome role SHOULDs, MUSTs, OUGHT TOs play in our lives!