Luxury is relative

Luxury is relative. Fatigue is misunderstood. 

 

These two topics have been colliding for me throughout my life, but especially in 2023. 

 

I think to understand luxury you need to respect fatigue. Fatigue is not curable by a sleep. Conditions like mine are defined by a lack of refreshing sleep. No sleep problems, but your body still doesn’t wake up refreshed. 

 

Why yes, it can be hell. Thank you for asking. 

 

You cannot push through fatigue. It is not a case of trying harder. You cannot. It’s just that the reason for your cannot is “invisible”, which is why people don’t believe you. 

 

Tired is “ugh I don’t want to walk up the hallway and put washing on, but I will eventually”.

 

Fatigue is “I don’t know if I can walk that far without very real risk of passing out”.

 

When you can accept fatigue is a) real and b) debilitating, you can start to think about what someone needs support with.

 

Real time conversations are hard for me. I prefer asynchronous conversation. That means not at the same time. Text messages are a great example of asynchronous conversation. 

 

A while ago I saw a dietician offering text based consults…. for their premium clients. 

 

That would be ideal for me. I can barely leave the house for GP appointments, and allied health appointments are much longer. 

 

Back when I last tried psychology, I would have a single hour long zoom call and then be unable to do anything at all for at least three hours after. It takes too much out of me. Text based psychological support would have been better. I could reply in my own time. 

 

But it’s not a standard offer. It’s a premium offer. 

 

A few years back when I had a shithouse GP who wouldn’t help me, along with regular chronic pain flares, I couldn’t cook often. Everything I ate came out of packets.

 

And while fed is best a) applies to adults too and b) shouldn’t have shame associated with it, it wasn’t a long term sustainable option. I wasn’t getting nutrients I needed. But to cook I’d have to clean. To clean I’d have to bend over a sink. If I bent over a sink I’d be in too much pain to cook. It was a vicious cycle. 

 

And then I was able to afford a dishwasher. Which meant I wasn’t in pain from washing up so I could spend energy cooking. Literally life changing. 

 

But a dishwasher is a luxury item, isn’t it? 

 

Ever since my covid infection, I’ve struggled with heat intolerance. Which is a pretty big problem in QLD summers. 

 

We do have an air conditioner installed in our house. But can I afford to run it as much as my body needs? Electricity has gone up wildly. Air conditioning is a luxury, after all, isn’t it? 

 

There is so much to unpack here and this is just the start. The first thing I need people to wrap their heads around is that luxury is relative.

 

An option for you may be a necessity for me. 

 

 

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